Berg's Blog

I need respect yo

2005-08-17T13:11:00.000-07:00

Ok, what the fuck is the problem with athletes? Waa waa waaa I need more money. Waa waa waa, I'm not paid what I am worth. I hate to break it to you, but you are almost worthless. Except as an entertainment mediium, you have no marketable skills besides the ability catch/throw/hit a ball better than other people.

Now, don't get me wrong, entertainment is a vital part of sustaining a stable society. However, entertainment mediums are varied and widespread. It's not like the market on entertainment is cornered. There are lots of ways people entertain themselves, but somehow athletes insist they be paid the most among any of them. If it were up to me, these guys would earn a working wage, not an exorbent able-to-retire-at-30 wage. Not all athelets earn that wage, but the ones that do seem to whine the most.

I'm a huge sports fan, I love sports, I watch them all the time. Then I see shit like Terrell Owens and his enormous contract not being enough for him. I see Iverson claim he can't feed his kid when his salary is over $10mil a year. I see players hold out because they need an extra $1mil on top of their $9mil salary. I see the NHL waste an entire year because the players don't want to get paid only $2-3mil a season, because it just wasn't enough, and didn't want a cap because it would hinder how many extra millions they can make.

Now I know that most people would jump all over those millions, and of course do anything they could to get even more, because more money is better. But I see these guys and they act like they are just like the blue collar workers. They are fighting with them and want the guys who can MAYBE afford two tickets a year because ticket prices are so high because player's salaries are so high, to back them up ont heir quest for more money. They try to appeal to the common man whent he common man has nothing in common. The common man struggles to buy a new car, the players have trouble deciding if they want only 3, or maybe they should get 6, 2 different colors of each.

Stop letting the greedy players push their salaries higher with claims of "I'm not paid enough." You are paid enough. You are paid more than enough. You are paid more in one season than a majority of people will ever earn in a lifetime. Accept your fucking salaries, say "All I can say is that I am thankful I have been blessed with the ability to make enought o support myself and my family" and stop saying "Yo, these bitches only want to give me $15 mil, but I'm worth $18mil, so you all can fuck yourself until I get what I want, cause I'm the best there ever is".

Final thought: Greedy players can go fuck themselves, and as mean as it sounds, I enjoy seeing the mighty fall when they squander the million bestowed upon them, which is probably why they want more, so they won't go broke as quickly.

I can't type

2005-07-16T22:41:00.000-07:00

WOW two posts in one sitting, I'm on a roll. Anyway, on to the topic.

I realized the other day that despite the fact I have been typing for years, I can't type worth shit. I mean I can type fast and stuff, but I make so many errors it is insane. I read back through some of my old posts, and the amount of errors I have is enormous. Just hitting the spacebar too early, holding shift down too long, forgetting a letter or typing out of order. I wonder why I don't catch them more often, because I do read along as I type.

I'll bet spell-check would help quite a bit, I really should use that more often, or type them in word so I get little red lines telling me I fucked something up. Or sometimes it fixes it for you. I have a friend who kept trying to make reports for his school (He's an assistant principle) and I forget the word now, but Word would always automatically 'correct' it to a different word as he typed. It wasn't during spellcheck, it would jsut change the word as he typed no matter how many times he deleted it and re-entered it. This caused a problem because it would always correct the word before he could spell-check it and add it to the dictionary. Anyway, just though that was a funny story.

Final thought: A useless post, perhaps, but error free (I hope).

Being Un-American

2005-07-16T22:18:00.000-07:00

I think perhaps the most un-American thing you can possibly do, is be too patriotic. Now, I know what you're thinking: "But Berg, patriotism is what holds this nation together, it's what freed us from England, it is what makes a country great" Yes, it does, but patriotism in the wrong places is completely against the ideals for which this country was founded.

Now, I'd like to disagree with one of my statements above, patriotism did not free us from England. In fact, anti-patriotism is what freed us from England. If people had been patriotic to their homeland, they would have never revolted. What does this have to do with modern time patriotism though?

criticism of the President, his policies, and his actions is commonplace, or at least it was. For some reason with Bush Jr. in place, people feel the need to support him no matter what, because of 9/11. They feel that if you don't back up the president, you aren't American. First, I'd like to give each of these people a good hard smack to the face and say "CRITICIZING THE PRESIDENT IS NOT ONLY OUR RIGHT BUT IT IS OUR DUTY AS AMERICAN CITIZENS TO LET THE GOVERNMENT KNOW WHEN WE ARE NOT HAPPY!" Whew, ok, now, I'd like to smack them all on the face again. Seriously, if the government worked in a way in which the public just agreed with everything, nothing would ever change for the better. It is only because the people in power rely on us to put them there, and as a result need to indulge in our wishes from time to time in order to stay there, does this country run. Any idiot that thinks we should automatically agree with Bush because he was president during 9/11 just plain need to be committed.

The worst part is, the people who try to call out Bush's critics do so by calling them un-patriotic and un-American. They say that if you don't support Bush, you aren't American. I say if you don't criticize Bush you are un-American. Just because Bush had the unfortunate fate to be president during 9/11, and we had the unfortunate fate to have him as president during 9/11 (Opps, I'm un-American), doesn't mean we should blindly follow him giving him appraisal for every thing he does. If the public doesn't respond and say "We don't like that" he could just run things however he felt like. Granted he kind of does that anyway, and still somehow got re-elected, in part because Kerry was a terrible candidate, but that doesn't mean we should stop voicing our opinions and letting the government know when we feel wronged.

Like I said before, this is what this country is founded upon. The US revolted and broke free from England because they were being critical of the laws. They protested and England ignored them, so they fought back. Maybe the modern idiots should criticize the fore fathers for being un-American by questioning their authority figure? No wait, then America wouldn't be founded, they are American! We can't do that now though, no sir, we should just do whatever Bush says with a smile on our face, because he was here during 9/11 don't you know, that makes his ideas the right thing to do, considering it was the mayor of NY, not Bush, that got us through that. I feel like ranting more on the pure stupidity of this idea, but I think I'd go in circles.

Final thought: Bush isn't a complete moron, like a lot of people say, but he does have some incredibly bad policies that we should be allowed to disagree with.

Duuuuhhhhhhhhh

2005-06-28T08:35:00.000-07:00

I haven't done a post complaining about true idiots in a while, so I think I'll do one right now.

I work part time in the summer for a baseball stadium. It is an independant professional baseball league, these guys are not associated with any major league organization, it is its own entity. The stadium was built near some residential homes, but not incredibly near, so to keep noise away from them. Then some genius saw a huge opportunity. They would build houses RIGHT NEXT to the stadium! In fact, some would only be 10 feet away! What downside could there be!?!?! How about 5,000 fans screaming and yelling, and a PA system announcing batters and other announcements all the way until 10 or 10:30 at night?

But hey, they moved in, they asked for it, right? That's what you are probably thinking. BZZZ WRONG. People call up and complain that it is too noisy! What fucking morons. You build your house next to a STADIUM and then don't expect any noise to arise out of it? What to go guys, I'll bet you didn't expect those 70 foot tall light towers to shine in your house either, huh? You know, the ones that have been there since the stadium was built.

I mean seriously, why would you build your house next to a stadium? Did you not know what goes on in stadiums? Did you think it was like a golf match where everyone stays silent until something ood happens, then they clap lightly? I can't believe these people have the nerve to call up and tell us to quiet down! If I were to answer the phone I'd say "Yea we can quiet down, as soon as you get smart enough to realize how stupid you are". Some nights we have firworks, that must really drive them nuts.

I'm pretty sure at one point the people in those houses tried to pass a noise ordinance, but the city was just like "Um...it's a stadium, how do you expect us to stop it from making noise, except by closing it down and wasting about $4million of the public money that went into building it and getting a team?" Plus the city owns the stadium in general, which i guess is the reason the homeowners thought they could change it. It's not like the stadium moved next to them, they moved next to it, and then expect everything to change because they arrived! "You may have been here first, but people who want to move in next to stadium should have the right to close down the stadium so that we can live with less noise. Sure there might have been prime real estate in other places I could have moved to and not had this problem, but that doesn't matter. All that matters is I moved in next to the stadium, and now the stadium needs to move because I decided I don't want to live next to it" I don't know if anyone said that, but I wouldn't be surprised.

Final thought: You know som real estate agent got rich off selling those properties and jacking up their value because of the nearby stadium. What idiots.

That's what I'm all about

2005-06-18T21:27:00.000-07:00

Seemingly in tune with my previous post, someone did something asshole-like today. So I'm drivin down 270 and trying to get in the exit only lane to get on 370. Meanwhile, an asshole has been tailing me hardcore for like a quarter mile, but I don't spee dup for those people. Just as I get the space to get in the lane for 370, with my blinker on, the asshole pulls out into that lane, passes me, then comes back into my lane. If he had just waited for me to get in the lane it all would have been fine, but instead he HAD to pass me RIGHT THEN and almost block me from getting ont he highway I needed to be on. He should have a bowie knife put his tire, his leg broken with a bat and his license taken.

It's those kind of people that piss me off. Wait 2 more seconds and you'll be in the clear, but they can't do that. Why wait when you can drive dangerously? Obviously the 2 seconds saved by passing me was well worth the risk of me merging lanes at the same time they were trying to pass (And nearly clipping me) and potentially dying or being seriously wounded in a car crash. Same goes for buckling up. Why be not even mildly uncomfortable and waste a whole second of time? Just because the chances of dying in a crash increase subtantially, that's no reason to be restrained from being able to turn around and look for CD's on the floor. Just because you haven't crashed yet doesn't mean you won't, and it only takes one to end a life.

Final thought: There are a lot of yahoos that really do need to have their licenses taken because they are a danger to everyone on the road.

Gimme your license, bitch!

2005-06-18T13:01:00.000-07:00

I've come to the conclusion that I should be the one to say whether people should get a drivers license or not. I base this on the fact that 90% of the people on the road are complete idiots. I'm sick of people riding my ass when I'm already doing 75 in a 60, then peeling out as soon as an opening comes around. Or how about when some idiots tries to enter the highway doing 25 and you are stuck behind him. WAKE UP YOU MORON. Going to get everyone killed doing that shit.

This is why I should have the right to pull people over and take away their licenses whenever they piss me off. I'll get a team of people to patrol the highway with me. No more wimpy tickets and insurance hikes, you make an ass of yourself by doing some stupid shit like blocking a person from entering or exiting the highway by not moving, or cutting across 4 lanes to pass one truck only to cut right back across those 4 lanes to get to your exit which was right there, and you lose your license.

Want it back? You have to prove you can drive in a manner that won't kill people. And just to make sure you don't drive off when we pull you over, we'll stick a bowie in your rear tire as we walk up. That's when you know you lost you license. Of course, there would be some instances where you wouldn't lose a license, like an emergency, but for the most part you'd lose it.

Then, I'd pull them out of their car and whack them on the leg with a bat, so they can't walk home either. Man, with penalties that harsh, people would actually drive like they are sane!

Anyway, in all seriousness, I do believe that penalties for driving recklessly should be toughened up and enforced more. Cars are deadly and you can kill people or yourself by doing stupid stunts. It might seem like it is all in fun, until the car smashes into your side. Respect the rules of the road and the world will be a much safer place. I break the rules sometimes too, but that doesn't make it any better.

Final thought: People just don't realize how much power they have when they get behind the wheel of a car, and they dont know how to respect that power.

Thanks for fixing it!

2005-06-13T08:29:00.000-07:00

I recently had to send my laptop back to the manufacturer to be fixed. It had two problems, a fan was dying, not dead, but dying, and there was a loose connection to the screen that made it flicker from time to time. So I packed it up and sent it off, they paid for it all of course, and I expected it to take a few weeks.

Just a few days after I sent it, I got word from Fedex that they it was being shipped back to me. My first response was "Wow, that was fast!" And indeed, they did get to my laptop that fast. So I came back from NO to find my laptop waiting for me, I open it up, and nothing has been done. They marked it as "Could not duplicate failure". Well did you TRY? I mean, if all you did was flip it open and say "Yep, it turns on" then no, you won't duplicate it. It has to be on for like 10-15 minutes before it starts having problems. And if you put a CD in, then the fan dies out as quickly as it possibly can. Yea, thanks for fixing it, thanks for trying even. Try opening it up next time and see if maybe just getting it to boot to windows isn't enough. After all, I didn't say it didn't boot, or the it died after 10 seconds, did I? I told them exactly what was wrong, and they did really feel like checking into it I guess. I'm going to have to call them again and give them a piece of my mind.

Final thought: Now I'm probably going to have to send it back to them AGAIN. Hey, they are paying for it, it's really their problem more than mine.

Vacation in Florida? No thanks, I don't want to get shot.

2005-06-01T10:04:00.000-07:00

Ah, some free time to just do I want, so I'll make a post. Hopefully my schedule clears up, it hasn't yet. Studying for the LSAT, researching stuff online, working, doing yard work doesn't leave much time to come up with good ideas for blog posts, and I don't just want to post absolute crap just to post. Anyway, on to the topic....

Florida has recently passed a law that when enacted will allow people to discharge their guns (Which are legal to carry concealed there) in a situation where they feel threatened. Wow. I understand that being able to carry concealed weapons is pointless unless you can fire them, but in my opinion that's a reason to repeal the concealed weapons law, not make it ok to shoot people.

Basically, if it is you and someone else with a gun, and no one else around, they can feel free to shoot you and then claim they were threatened. As one lawyer put it "Now when you get road rage, not only can you point the gun at another car, but you can fire it as well" Hey, I don't think I'm even going to DRIVE through Florida now.

Man this law is stupid. I can forsee a ton of legislative problems trying to figure out if people were actually threatened or just felt like shooting the person. I can also see a lot of unwarrented deaths. Perhaps crime will go down as people start to shoot criminals, or maybe criminals just won't rob as much for fear of being shot, but in either case I don't think this is the proper way to reduce crime. I think it will reduce certain types of crime, while increasing violent crime, but then making the violent crime not a crime.

Those people down in Florida sure are smart, they can't figure out how to vote and now they can shoot each other. We need more people like them running our country. Heck, Jeb Bush should run for president! Fuck George Jr. He doesn't pass awesome laws like letting us shoot each other!

Final though: I think California and Florida compete for who can pass the worst laws.

You don't know everything

2005-05-05T19:03:00.000-07:00

First, i'd like to start by apologizing for the lack of posts. This isn't because I've become lazy, but because I've become incredibly busy. I am not getting home until like 11 at night, and by that time I just want to go to sleep. Hopefully it will clear up soon and I can continue to post on a regular basis. Now on to the topic.

Lately on campus there have been a lot of high school students. Either for band competitions or whatever, and these kids come waltzing into campus, trying to act like they own the place and they're so cool. They do thier little high school thing, making sure the college people see it so they'll all know how cool the high school kids are. Hey, guess what, most college kids don't look at high school kids and say "Wow, that's cool". They look at high school kids and say "Wow, was I really that stupid in high school?". I don't mean to offend anyone from high school, but it's true.

High school kids think they know everything, they can survive in the world, and no one can tell them what to do. Why? Because they know everything! Geez, stupid adults trying to tell them what to do so they don't make mistakes. They wouldn't make a mistake, they don't need to take secondary consequences into account, because they won't exist, right? You don't know how to handle money, you don't know how to live in the real world, and you arn't that smart. Once you get to college, you realize just how incredibly naive you were in high school. I'm still naive! There's still a lot I don't know, but I guarantee you that high school students don't know any more.

I really wish someone would pound some sense into those kids, cause they really piss me off. Strutting around like the world owes them everything and there isn't a thing they don't know. oh, but if they don't know, it's because it isn't important. I should get to carry around a bat and hit any high school kid in the knee cap when they piss me off with their know-it-all-I'm-so-cool-cause-I'm-in-high-school attitude.

Final thought: Yea, I was probably that way as well, but that doesn't mean I have to accept their attitudes.

I've got road rage

2005-04-22T11:05:00.000-07:00

Seriously, it is so frustrating to drive. The way people can be giant idiots on the road just makes me dread having to drive somewhere. I'm tired of three cars running the red light because they couldn't wait a minute 30 to get through and block up dozens of cars from getting through while they sit in the middle of the intersection waiting for their line of traffic to move. They need more cameras on the stoplights to prevent this and ticket the people who do stupid stuff like this.

Or people who cut you off to get in front of you so that they can make a right turn? Weren't they just one car behind me? Couldn't wait that extra 3 seconds? How stupid. I really wish I was an officer sometimes so I could ticket all these assholes. Or perhaps just get out of my car and slash one of their tires. That'd feel good, unless they were blocking me in an intersection, which people do a LOT around here. Light not long enough? No worries, you can just sit in the middle and block everything waiting for the line of traffic on your side to move. GRRRRRRRR.

I always get a certain sense of satisfaction when I see some jerk who'se been cutting people off, speeding, running red lights and all that get pulled over. You know they are probably pissed about it too, thinking they did nothing wrong, when they did everything they possibly could wrong. "Damn, cops, always out to get me" Hey, maybe if you didn't drive like a jackass, you'd save some money on tickets! What a novel idea, follow the rules of the road! WHOA, I think I just made the breakthrough of the century. If people actually followed the rules of the road...we'd get places faster with fewer accidents! Duh.

I also hate it when you are waiting in a long line of traffic on the highway, because let's say one lane is closed, and someone comes flying up in the open lane and goes all the way to the fron tthen tries to barge in. Boy does that ever piss me off. Not only do I ride the bumper of the person in front of me, but I flick the person off who did it. Usually some punk teenager who then gets pissed, but hey, he's the asshole who tried to cut 30 cars off because he's "More important" I guess.

True story: Driving back from Colorado we were behind a cop car for a good ways. Some jerk came flying up the highway probably at 95-100 and came right up on the Cops bumper and rode there for probably a mile or two tailgating him hardcore, then as soon as a spot opened open, he yanked out around the cop, zoomed forward, and then nearly clipped the cop as he cut him off. Suddenly **GASP** The cops lights and sirens went on, and the guy was pulled over, most likely for reckless driving. It wasn't an unmarked car or anything, it was very well marked. This guy probably thought he could get away with being a jackass to the cop because of the myth that if they are driving they can't pull you over for speeding. A) They can, and B) They don't need to if you drive like that. It was so satisfying to see that guy get pulled over, although I'm sure he did not learn his lesson.

Final thought: Drivers are insane, I wish the government had the money to patrol the roads more rigorously, to stop all these jerks that just drive by their own rules and put everyone who actually follows the rules out. We suffer at lights we shouldn't and get cut off and have to slam on our brakes because of these pompous jerks, and they need to be stopped, preferably by the government before they crash and hurt someone.

Tripping the light fantastic

2005-04-22T10:13:00.000-07:00

This is something I can't do, and most people don't know that they are doing. It is a phrase which has swindled with time to the point where when I say it, people go "Huh?". So, I've decided to make a post about the fewphrases that people seem to have problems grasping when I say them.

Trip the light fantastic: This phrase admittingly was used in the earlier parts of the 20th century, and like I said has faded into obscurity. I'm not sure why I know it, but I like it and use it, but no one seems to have even heard of it. Simply put, it means to dance in an impressive and sort of glamourous manner. Also could be in a graceful manner, if you wish. Either way, it's a fairly simple phrase to know, but difficult to understand it's origins, which I also know but won't go into right now.

Lie in the bed that you make: This one surprised me, I thought most people would know about it. It's fairly easy to understand. If you make the bed, you must lay in it, or, if you are the one to create a problem, you are also the one to take care of it. Basically, you should be the one to suffer the consequences of your own actions.

Paint the town red: Another phrase that surprised me when people said they didn't know it. A little more precise definition is just to act in a wild or robust attitude. More commonly it became known as a phrase that meant you were going to party on the town, not just go out and have a drink, but really party. Still holds some of that act in a wild manner.

Quid pro quo: A phrase perhaps made famous by "Silence of the Lambs" however, most people still don't seem to know it's exact definition. Simply put, it is just "Something for something" or more commonely said as "Something given in return for a previous item of equivalent value" hence Hannibal Lector's use of it for his information in exchange for Clarice's personal information. One of my own personal favorites, especially to say it like Hannibal. "Quid pro quo, yes or no?"

Final thought: Lie in the bed that you make is probably the easiest phrase to understand, or quid pro quo. You can e-mail me with any questions about them or other phrases, I'd be happy to look them up or tell you what they mean if I don't know them.

Ways to avoid eye contact

2005-04-22T09:30:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been walking down a hallway, or perhaps a street, and it is only you and one other person walking opposite ways? It's always an awkward moment if you don't know the person. Most people try their best to avoid eye contact with the impending stranger, and avoid as much of the awkward moment as possible, without making themselves look like idiots while doing it because that would be more awkward. So, I've devised a list of the ways to help avoid eye contact. Use at your own risk. Improperly executing a maneuver may result in injury or emabarassment, I am not liable for any damages caused while using said stratagies.

1) Look at the ground while passing the other person: A classic and used by many. Most likely the stranger will employ the same strategy, which makes your use effective. However, if the stranger tries to make eye contact or looks at you, it can be potentially embarassing. I don't recommend this one strongly unless the stranger is already engaged in the act themselves, in which case it is the easiest to use.

2) Pretend you have an itch: This one allows you to pretend to be occupied with something. However, timing is critical with this, because you can only scratch an area for so long before you look stupid. You have to wait until just the right moment to scratch so you can still be still be scratching when you pass. Also, certain areas are better to scratch than others. If you scratch your head, you can look to the side and avoid eye contact. Scratching your back allows for a longer period of scratching, but you still risk eye contact. Scratching your arm may be the best because you can look down at it, and then pretend there is something interesting on their to look at allowing for even longer scratching times. This is an excellent one to use in many situations, especially when the only other option is looking down.

3) Pretend to look for something in your purse/bookbag/pocket/wallet: This one gives you a long distraction and allows you to completely ignore the stranger as you search for your whatever. Timing is also important on this one, because there is only so long to look for something, since most people stop if they can't find something. If you don't stop it could become obvious you are trying to ignore the person, and if you do stop, while you retain the right to ignore the person, you have just impeded your own progress. Still, all-in-all it is a very effective method of avoiding eye contact.

4) Look at the sky or ceiling: Like looking down but worse. It implies you are trying to make sure you don't look at them, and want to ignore them. It's insulting. A lot of people look down naturally, not up. I don't recommend using this unless you hear a helicopter or something else you can look at in the sky.

5) Pretend you are looking at something on the side of road/hallway: Act like something is keeping your interest, squint your eyes a bit as if trying to get a better view. It works best if you actually focus on something, no matter how boring. This is another one with some timing issues, as staring at the same object for a minute straight might become obvious. If you need to avoid contact for a long time, pretend you are looking around and focusing your attention on several objects, staying on each for a few seconds.

6) Tie your shoes: Another classic, although a rarely used one because not many people's shoes need tying. I don't recommend acting like something is in your shoe, that's just a hassel. This one, however, will also stop your forward progress.

7) Pick up a piece of trash/lint: This is a fairly common one in hallways, and good for avoiding eye contact. It's not so great on the street, but will do you well in the corridor. Fails miserably if the person tries to pick up the same piece of trash/lint in an effort to avoid eye contact, because the situation just becomes more awkward.

8) Actually make eye contact and say "Hi": Not enough people do this. We wonder why everyone seems so cold in the world, it's because we don't even bother saying "Hi" to each other, we just try to ignore the other one's presence. This is an excellent way to brighten your day and theirs, assuming you can do it without sounding nasty. I recommend this one highly, although the embarassment rate is high, so use at your own risk.

Final thought: I all reality, I fear eye contact and can't hold it for more than a second or two before it gets way too intense for me.

I can't rewind!

2005-04-19T20:29:00.000-07:00

AAARRRGGGGGG!!!!!!! I've been using TiVo too much, I try to apply it to all walks of life and it doesn't work. I was talking on the phone the other day and I missed what the person said. The first thought that came to mind was "Oh, I'll just rewind and listen again" DUH! Doesn't work that way.

This isn't an isolated incident, I do it everywhere. Everytime I miss something by a second I think "I'll just rewind" before realizing there is no remote for real life. It would be great if we could, but we'd never move froward cause everyone would be rewinding all the time to fix mistakes and buy more free time.

What we could use is a mute button. I know some people in my classes I'd like to mute. Those people who have an opinion on everything, and not only do they have their opinion, but they have to voice it EVERY time, even if it is just to agree with you. They can never shut up and just want to make sure everyone knows their opinion. Oh, and not only know it, but they HAVE to agree with it, and if they don't they think you are ridiculous no matter what evidence you give to support your position.

Ok, that was a little off-topic, but a good idea for another post. Not really much else to say except I really need to get this "I can just rewind it" idea out of my head. Oh yea, and I can't watch regular TV anymore because I can't pause/rewind/fast forward. You don't know how much you need it until you don't have it!

Final thought: Imgaine how awesome it would be to take a test, rewind back before the test and look up all the answers, then take it again. I'd be such an awesome student.

is the Pope Evil!?!?!

2005-04-19T18:46:00.000-07:00

Of course he isn't. He's Catholic, believes very strongly in the Church doctrine and living a very church-oriented life. Of course he isn't evil, and I know that.

However, is it just me, or does he LOOK evil? The pictures that have been on NYtimes make him look evil. Just the way his face is and the eyebrows are slanted, he looks like an evil sorcerer bent on world domination. Maybe it's just me, maybe he looks calm and placid to others.

Also, Benedict XVI? Ug, I don't like the name Benedict. it obviously has some history in the church, but that doesn't mean I have to like the name. I think it would be cool if he were to pick something totally out of bounds like "Rambo I" that'd be totally awesome. I'd love to see a Pope named Rambo. Of course he wouldn't be as macho as the real Rambo, but he'd still garner awe and respect from all.

Anyway, congratulations to the new Pope on being elected. Here's to a good tenure as Pope, I hope he does a lot of good fgor this world, we sure could use it.

Final thought: I know he's not evil, he just looks evil!

How dumb I am

2005-04-18T21:56:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had those times when what you did was so stupid that you can't believe you just did it, or were about to? I had something like that today, and it also reminded of one other time I did something pretty stupid.

We'll just start with the first time. It wasn't anything horrifyingly dumb, but it was just me not thinking and then hurting myself slightly. I was leaving the house, went out to the garage as usual. Of course, we keep the cars on the driveway, so i had to open the door to go out. I hit the button to open the door, then without even waiting a moment, I walked forward and slammed myself into the garage door. I hit pretty hard because I was walking with full momentum. I was glad no one was around to see me walk into a wall basically, but now you all know.

Today though, today was different. I ALMOST did something absolutly embarrassing. It would have shamed me if I hadn't stopped myself at the downstairs door to my apartment building. I got ready for class, put my clothes on, packed my bag, left my away message up on aim. Got my shoes on and all that stuff. I went out of my apartment, locked the door, went dowstairs and opened the door to the outside when I realized something. I hadn't finished putting my clothes on. I didn't have any pants. I had boxers, but no pants. Sadly, this was not the first time I had done this. You'd think wearing pants would be an essential part of my checklist for "Things I need before I go out" but apparently it isn't. The first time was actually more emabrassing because I got out to my car and had driven to where I wanted to go before I realized I was missing pants. Ah, the stupidity of me, it's great really.

Final thought: I have misplaced my pants

How pathetic

2005-04-12T17:10:00.000-07:00

I was looking around on Ebay today, and decided to drift over toward the video game section and look at what people are doing with Nintendo DS and the PSP since they seem to be so popular for some reason right now. Ooo look at me, I can cause even more severe eye strain by trying to concentrate on an extremely small screen, but the one game I can afford is awesome even if it doesn't have the features a normal game would have! Anyway, that's a top for another discussion.

So the prices these things are going for are outrageous. People are willing to pay over $100 more than the retial price just to get it as soon as possible. That's ridiculous, how can this item be that important? "Oh, but my kid really wants it for their birthday" So fucking what?! They can learn to deal with disappointment and have to wait an air gasping 2 weeks to get it. Waa waa waaaa, I don't feel sorry for them. I was spoiled as a child, so it's not a case of "You're just jealous because your parents couldn't afford stuff" Or it could be that paying that much extra just so your kid has it for their birthday is ridiculously dumb. If it causes severe emotional stress to not have a PSP on their birthday, then they had some other issues going anyway that needed attention.

Kids today just don't have the ability to deal with adversity in any sense. On eof my teachers said she was in the airport and there was a large group of kids all with Nintendo DS's and they would get mad and throw them around the airport! I'd break the DS for them if that were my kid and be like "When you save up the $150 to buy a new one, then you can have it, but I won't have you throwing something that expensive around like it's worth nothing. Now it is nothing, and you made it that way. Maybe if you paid for it yourself you'd appreciate the value of a dollar". The PSP is more ridiculous, those are $250! Any idiot willing to buy one of those for $400 off ebay deserves to lose their money.

Now I love video games, but the hand-held versions just suck. They can be entertaining when on a car trip or in a hotel room, but I wouldn't pay $250 for that luxury. For $250 I can buy a whole lot more. Like, I don't know a week's worth of gas. Something with some intrinsic value besides keeping the eye doctor in business.

Final thought: I can't believe people pay that much for shit like that. Some business people at Sony, along with people selling on Ebay, have to be jizzing their pants at how easy it is to take the American consumer's money.

Final final thought: They finally corrected whatever it was that prevented posting, so I'll try to get the other posts that got blocked up soon.

Having problems...

2005-04-10T10:22:00.000-07:00

I've been having problems getting my posts up on Blogger.com, as you can tell by the lack of posts. Hopefully it will let me get them back up eventually, as I have written 4 new posts that haven't been put up yet. Actually, i'm not sure this one will get up, but if it does, you'll know why there has been a lack of posting

"True evil never dies"...shut the hell up

2005-04-08T12:16:00.000-07:00

First, I would like to apologize for the lack of updates. Life's been busy and next week is no reprieve, so I will do my best to keep a regular update, but don't lose faith if I don't post for a little while! On to the subject matter.

So I was walking through Best Buy today when I passed a sign for the Doom 3 expansion Resurrection of Evil. The advertisement for it, or slogan I suppose was "True evil never dies". I just had to think to myself that has to be the worst slogan for that game ever. That phrase alone completely defeats the purpose of the game.

If true evil never dies, because it obviously didn't in the original game, then it still won't when you kill it now. You may have some new secret weapon or whatever that will defeat it forever this time....but wait! No it won't, because true evil never dies. You can't kill it, they said so themselves. It may be shattered to oblivion, but it won't die. How stupid. Like I said, this completely defeats the purpose of the game because you know it isn't dead. It will just come back to life and you'll have to kill it again. Eventually it will succeed and take over everything, and you'll be the first to go.

If that's the case, I'd rather be a pet than cattle. yea, I got that from Blade II, but it's true. I mean, if we believe that phrase, than Hitler is going to come back. No one would really listen to him now though, we'd probably just kill him again. It would be like a ritual:
"Hey man, Hitler is about to ressurect again, you going to go watch him get killed"
"Nah, I went last year. It's just the same thing every year"
And so on. It's such a dumb phrase, it really just takes away all hope of good triumphing over evil, because it always comes back. There's no reason to side with the good, because every so often you'll just have to risk your life trying to kill the ultimate evil again. How come we can't kill the true evil, but it sure as hell can kill us?

Final thought: The people that created that phrase should be fired for pissing me off on a really nice day.

Spell-check is for wimps

2005-03-31T16:17:00.000-08:00

As I go back through my old posts, I constantely find spelling grammer mistakes which I have to go back and correct. It takes a while to correct them, because all the pages have to load and I have to republish the blog and whatnot. So sometimes I don't correct them because my laziness factor is too high at the moment.

I started wondering why I never use spellcheck for any of this instead of going back and correcting when it hit me. I type most of my papers and such in Word, which immediatly alerts me to improper grammer or words that are spelled wrong. However, when I type these on blogger.com, it makes no mention of improper grammer or spelling. It does HAVE a spell-check, but I never thought about using it because I was so accustomed to the way Word does it. I think Microsoft is trying to brainwash us all to not be able to use anything but their products. It appears to be working on me at least. I wonder if perhaps I somehow talked my computer demons in to attacking Microsoft. Unless they are from Microsoft, which is a distinct possibility. Anyway, back to the topic. I should probabley spellcheck from now on, because I'm tired of correcting my bad spelling and grammer.

Final thought: I left grammar and spelling mistakes in here on purpose. The first one to find them all wins first prize!

A pretend conversation II

2005-03-30T20:24:00.000-08:00

Stupid customer: I'd like you to run these numbers (lottery) through for me.
Me: No problem.
Phone rings
Me: Hold on just one second please sir
I answer the phone with usual greeting, and send them on their way
SC: Why did you answer that?
Me: Because these are the phones for the entire store and if I don't answer them, no one will.
SC: I was here first, you are supposed to be waiting on me, not the phones.
Me: I understand that, but I was still running you numbers through as I was on the phone. I can't just let the phone ring.
SC: It doesn't matter. I was here and you were supposed to be helping me, not answering the phones.
Me: I was helping you, but I also had a duty to answer the phone, it's my job. I can't just let those people sit there either, and I did say 'excuse me'
SC: Well I didn't excuse you.
Me: I'm sorry, but it is my job to answer the phones as well, I said 'excuse me' and continued to run your numbers as I was on the phone, which was very briefly
SC: I want to talk to a manager
Me: Ok
I call a manager over
Manager: What seems to be the problem?
SC: This young man answered the phone in the middle of helping me
Me: I excused myself and then answered it
Manager: It's his job to answer the phone, he can't just ignore it
SC: He was supposed to be helping me, not answering the phone
Manager: He said he excused himself. It's his job, those are the phones for the entire store, someone has to answer them.
SC: I want him fired, are you the store director?
Manager: No I am not, he;s on vacation for the week
SC: I want to talk to him right now!
Manager: I'm sorry, you can't, he's on vacation. If you come back next Thursday he will be in.
SC: I shouldn't have to come back next Thursday, I want to talk to him right now and get this guy fired!
Manager: That's just not a possibility, he's on vacation and he won't be back until next Thursday. If you want to speak to him, there's nothing I can do until then.
SC: This is ridiculous! How can the store manager not be available? I want to talk to him RIGHT NOW. You both should be fired.
Manager: Sir, he said excuse me, he was only doing his job. It does not warrent being fired. They answer the phones while helping customers all the time.
SC: Well they shouldn't. It's ridiculous that I should have to wait for someone on the phone when I was there first.
Manager: We can't just let the phones go unanswered everytime it gets a little busy. I'm sorry it inconvienced you, but he was just doing his job. If you still want to talk to the store manager, you can come back next Thursday when he is back.
SC: I don't want to come back next Thursday I want to talk to him right and I should be able to. Now I want you to go get the store manager!
Manager: He is on vacation, sir, and won't be back until next Thursday. Until then you can't talk to him.

Ok, this wasn't a pretend conversation. This actually happened to me. This went on actually for 30 minutes. I interjected sometimes, but mainly let them fight. After the idiot finally left, about 6 or 7 customers who had watched the entire thing (Stayed actually to see how it came out) came up to me and told me I did nothing wrong and that he was just a lunatic, which was nice of them. One guy even said it was a full moon that night and all the weirdos come out.

Final thought: He wanted me fired for answering a phone? I'd like him fired for having an IQ lower than mine.

"On your right"

2005-03-30T20:03:00.000-08:00

A phrase that you will not hear uttered on Mizzou's campus. It is a phrase which bikers are supposed to use to let th epeople in front of them know not to start moving to the right, as the biker would then hit them. No, instead Mizzou campus bikers glid along at thier fast paces narrowly weaving in and out of people, perhaps clipping a person from time to time in their endless pursuit to be able to get to class faster than everyone else.

Oh they are the kings of the sidewalk, only moving for large groups of people and never for a person or two, despite the fact they are supposed to be riding on the street and not the sidewalk. These dashing rogues of mystery and intrigue. I envy them for their quick pace and expert handling. Wait a minute, no I don't, they're assholes.

I'll admit, saying "On your right" or "On your left" would be too much in the middle of a crowd, who's left and who's right? But when there are but a few people on the sidewalk, it would not be too much trouble. Afterall, if they crash into you, they look at you like it's your fault for not looking behind yourself before drifting slightly to the right. Some of the people go so fast through traffic and whatnot, you wonder how they don't crash constantly. My favorite moment had to be watching a biker who was talking on his cell phone clip a pole. Since the pole was cemented into the ground, it stayed put and did not let the handlebar pass. I don't like seeing people get hurt, but this guy was flying through people with one hand on the bars and chatting it up with the other. What a jerk. I'm just glad he hit something before he hit someone.

The bikers really are reckless for the most part. I've seen a few people hit by stupid bikers who are just going way too fast through a crowd of people, or arn't paying attention. You shouldn't have to look behind you to make sure a biker won't hit you, it's the biker's responsibility to look ahead and make sure he isn't going to hit anyone. And for that matter, they shouldn't cut it so close to people they almost clip them, because if that person does drift, they WILL clip them. I'm not arguing for a bike-free campus. Not at all. Instead I propose that the next time a biker hits or clips you, you have the right to hit them in the leg with a baseball bat, a baseball bat which the bikers must carry to ensure one is always around in the even they hit someone.

Final thought: The bikers really irritate me on campus, at least the impolite ones, which consists of about 100% of the bikers on campus.

Chickens, weasels, midgets, and chainsaws

2005-03-28T22:50:00.000-08:00

That about sums it up. The funniest headline ever. Seriously, what sentence contains those words and isn't funny? Let's try one.

"The midgets were chasing chickens when a weasel with a chainsaw came in" It may be incomplete, but that is probably the beginning of the funniest joke in the world. Add in some color and some seafood, and it gets even funnier.

"The blue midgets were chasing chickens when a weasel with a chainsaw came in and they slapped him with fish" I can just picutre blue midgets slapping a weasel holding a chainsaw
with fish while chickens roam around. I wonder what else could make it funnier. Maybe if the midgets were drunk, blue drunk midgets. Could be funny. Oh! Even better than chickens are penguins!

"The blue midgets were chasing penguins when a weasel with a chainsaw came in and they slapped him with fish" Now THAT is funny. I don't care who you are, that's funny right there. It's so ridiculously stupid that it's funny.

Final thought: This may be the dumbest post ever.

Have you ever wondered....

2005-03-28T19:04:00.000-08:00

Why the majority always rules, unless those same people suddenly become the minority, then it is outrageous for their voices not to be heard?

Why we know the ancient gods mainly by their Greek names: Zues, Poseiden, Aphrodite etc., but we call their greatest hero, Heracles, by his Roman name of Hercules? Ok, I'm probably the only one, but it is a good point.

Why the Muslim community of Spain, or any for that matter, didn't call at fatwa against Bin Laden until he attacked their own countries?

If you could survive if one of those horror movies came true? I know I'd kick zombie ass, cause I'm just that good. KUNG FOO HIYA!!!! Now what, bitches.

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

Why the above phrase even exists since a wood chuck cannot chuck wood and is therefore irrelevant?

Why we teach a song about a horrible, ugly, painful death to children? Don't believe we do? Check the historical facts behind Ring Around the Rosie.

If we should ban all Canadians in American sports until their country agrees to stop banning American culture from their entire country?

Who is really more powerful in America, Oprah or Bush?

If you would read a book about 5 words at a time on your cellphone? They do it in Japan.

Whether the Japanese are really so much more diligent and energetic than Americans? They actually watch more television on average per day than we do.

Why the French look down on us when if it were not for us, French would only exist in Canada? Yea, it's overused, but it's still true.

Why the rest of the world looks down on us as inferior and justify by saying we look down on them? Hypocrites.

Why we have managed to make English the international language over the previous one, French, but have yet to declare it as our own official language?

Whether a person with a fear of rodents has problems using a mouse on a computer?

Why Superman leaps tall buildings when he can fly?

How he can be faster than a "speeding" bullet? Is there a speed limit? Can I give the bullet a ticket?

Why this list is so long?

Final thought: That was fun.

I don't like Mel Gibson

2005-03-14T20:46:00.000-08:00

Seriously, I don't like Mel Gibson at all. He's the most overrated actor there is. Everyone is like "oh my god, it's Mel Gibson, he's so hot!" HE'S NOT HOT! HE'S UGLY! How this man was EVER voted as the sexiest man on earth will always puzzle me. I'm not gay, but I can judge decently enough a guy's looks, and I definitly know an ugly one when I see one, and Mel Gibson is an ugly one. He sucks as an actor too, and all the movies he plays in are bad. Braveheart has to be one of the worst. Why I own the movie I don't know, but the movie is horrible. Gibson does a horrible job, and doesn't look at all like William Wallace, because he's too short and Wallace was supposed to be six foot seven inches. Gibson is like what? five foot eight inches? He's a freakin midget comapred to Wallace. I could pound that little twerp if it wasn't for the fact that he has muscle and I don't. Oh, but the battle scenes rocked! No they didn't. They were horrible. You couldn't tell what was going on. Go watch Lord of the Rings, those battle scenes rock. At least you have an idea of what is going on besides people are dying.

Signs sucks too. If it was not for the fact I went to see it with kids from my SOAR group, it would have been the first movie I walked out on. I hated it so much, it was like having my fingernails pulled out one by one, only I was supposed to enjoy it. Go search for The Best Page in the Universe and find his Signs review, it sums it all up for me. I'd do it myself, but I'm not good at this and don't know how to link.

And then there's The Patriot. Why does Gibson always play in these action movies? He's horrible! I hated The Patriot from beginning to end. It was a piece of shit. How that movie did well at the box office and in video I don't know. I think Gibson has people brainwashed into thinking what he touches turns to gold, when in reality it turns to shit.

Did you know the part of Maximus for Gladiator was orginally offered to Gibson but he turned it down? I named my cat Maximus because the character in the movie is so damn cool, but you can bet if Gibson had played it, the part would have sucked. I can't even imagine Gibson playing that part, it would have been so shitty. Crowe was 400000x better than Gibson ever would have been. He's just a shitty actor who plays one role. All of his characters are really the same, he doesn't act any differently. It's like he can't change his style, it's the Mel Gibson style, and it sucks.

I haven't even watched Passion of the Christ yet. I heard it's not that entertaining, and I watch movies to be entertained, not to be grossed out. Plus it was made by Gibson, so I figure it has to be shit. No thanks on Passion, I'll pass. I should watch it someday though, perhaps I will, just to see what all the hype is about.

Also, the guy has boobs! He's got bigger tits than some porn stars. Have you seen Braveheart? Those things are huge! I'll bet he has to wear a bra to keep them in check. Also, he plays only in shitty movies with shitty plotlines, and I just don't like him. Join me in the Mel Gibson boycott club, where we don't really do anything, and seeing movies by Gibson just to say how shitty they were is ok.

Final Thought: Mel Gibson is an anagram for "Big Melons" which he has.

Please allow 7-10 weeks to cook

2005-03-05T10:59:00.000-08:00

I was preparing a frozen dinner the other night, and I had two cooking options. One seemed reasonable given that I was hungry right then, and the other seemed reasonable if I wanted to eat next month. Seriously, have you ever looked at how long it takes to cook the same things in a conventional oven compared to the microwave? It's ridiculous. Oven's take a billion times longer. It might taste better, but I don't want my food to be ready in a month, I want it the same day. Not only does it take forever to cook in the oven, but they always have it set to extreme temperatures equal to that of the sun. Here's an example of directions given to cook a frozen dinner
Microwave:
Peel back plastic wrapper and place in microwave. Microwave on high for 4 minutes, take out and stir potatos. Continue microwaving on high for an additional 5 minutes or until chicken is 170 degrees
Conventional Oven
Preheat oven to 90,00,000 degrees celsius DO NOT PLACE IN OVEN BEFORE IT IS AT THIS TEMPERATURE!!! YOU WILL SUFFER AND DIE IF YOU DO!!! Peel back plastic wrapping and place in oven on center rack. Allow 7-10 weeks for cooking. Stir potatos halfway through.
Warning: Plate will be hot

Ok, so it might be a slight exaggeration, but only slightly. The point is that it takes FOREVER to cook in a conventional oven. When I go to make the meal, I make it when I am hungry, and when I am hungry I want it soon. Not that I won't cook a full meal, but if it's a TV dinner, I don't want to wait all night to eat it, it's a TV dinner!

Final thought: Microwaving is much easier and faster, even if it does not taste quite as good.

TiVo rocks my world

2005-03-03T12:53:00.000-08:00

Holy crap is TiVo ever awesome! I can't even describe it's awesomeness except with this one phrase "It's awesome". For instance you could tell it that you liked Mel Gibson a whole lot, and it would search all the programs and automatically record anything with Mel Gibson in it, even if you didn't know it was on! Or you can rate shows and then it will make suggestions on what other shows you might like. It has to update itself like once a day to make sure it knows what programs are on, and the setup is a pain in the ass, but other than that it's awesome!

I like TiVo so much that I had a Buddhist Monk come in and blessed it so that no demons could get in there and make it run slowly. So my TiVo will always run great! He even tried to exorcise the demons from my laptop, but unfortunatly for him they ate him. Luckily, that means I don't have to pay him. Who cares though? With TiVo around, nothing matters. I can't go back to watching TV the old way. It just seems so...archaic. Go get your TiVo now while the $100 mail-in rebate is still going on.

Final thought: Once you go TiVo, you'll never go back.

The download that would not end

2005-03-01T19:35:00.000-08:00

Have you had one of those downloads that is just continuously slowing down? I tried to download a trial of some video editing software the other day, and it started at 37minutes...then 45 minutes....54...1 hour 5 minutes.....1 hour 27 minutes.....1hour 45 minutes....you get the picture.

Does my computer just misread the download time, or are there hidden, unknown factors at work? My theory is that little download demons invade your computer and slow down the download just to be mischievous. Those little rascals. If I had some holy water I might get them out, but then it might short-circuit my computer too. Can I do an exorcism perhaps? I need a young priest, and an old priest. Did you know the Catholic Church still performs exorcisms? Maybe they'd do it.

Anyway, other theories about slow download have something to do with bandwidth, user traffic, connection speed, and other mumbo-jumbo that are all just fancy words for little demons. Don't believe me? Rip open your computer in the middle of a slow download and see. You have to be fast though; those little devils get out of there in a hurry. I'm not exactly sure how they do it, but I believe it has something to do with a jar of mayo, a marker, and Mel Gibson. I recommend blessing your computer so they can't get in it. If it doesn't work, then you didn't bless it properly, not my fault. However, if they are already in there, you need an exorcism, as they will stop you from blessing it. It's science.

Final thought: I think they call it the world wide web, because by the time you finish downloading there are spider webs on the computer.

What's my IQ again? Part 2

2005-02-28T14:26:00.000-08:00

So after my rant about the idiot who wanted to sue EB Games for his own stupid mistake, I decided to look up what other idiots have sued for. Some of them may actually be more idiotic than the EB Games guy.

In New England, a man led police on a high speed chase before crashing his own vehicle into a utility pole and injuring himself. He is sueing the town for his medical bills. His claim is that the officers should have backed off the high-speed chase when it became too dangerous. HELLO! Or you could have just given up. So now it is illegal for the police to puruse their targets? "Oh well, he went over 80, better luck next time" WTF is that. Stupid ass.

In a hospital in Los Angeles County, a patient was having a routine outpatient surgery. 90 minutes in something went wrong, and the doctors rushed her to emergency surgery. The trip to the emergency surgery room went right past the mother's two daughters who witnessed her being rushed down the hallway. They sued not for malpractice, but for having to witness her being rushed down the hallway and it caused emotional distress. Ok, so what the fuck was the doctor supposed to do? "Hey, can we wait a few and make sure no one will witness us trying to get this woman to a room where we can save her life? Sure it will reduce her chances of survival by a lot, but I'd prefer not to cause emotional distress." Luckily, in this case, the girls did not win.

A man in Houston filed a laqsuit against the city for intentional infliction of emotinal distress after he was fired from his job as an ambulance driver. The reason he was fired? According to him, it was because he is black. According to the city, it was because he stopped for doughnuts and juice while he was supposed to be trasnporting a patient to the hospital. He claims other drivers have made unscheduled stops and not been fired or were later reinstated, so it must be because he's black. Or perhaps it could be because the hospital doesn't want their EMS drivers to think they can stop for lunch everytime they feel hungry. Injured people don't like to wait. "Hey, we got a gunshot victim back here!"
"Hey, I didn't get breakfast this morning!"

A 15 year old high-school kid sued the Vallejo Babe Ruth Baseball League for his lack of playing time. He only played in 20% of the innings he said, so he wants 80% of his money back. He also claims he was better than people who played more than he did, despite his wonderful .083 average. So then, if I only played 80% of the innings, the league should return 20% of the money because that other 20% of the time this stupid kid was playing? Maybe if you didn't suck so bad, you'd get to play more you crybaby. He took money to pay for driver's education classes to join the league instead, smart move dumbass. Another case won by the team, and not by the idiot.

There are so many dumb lawsuits out there. I think my job should be to have every lawsuit come to me, then I'll decide if it's too stupid or not. I'll let them know if it's stupid by hitting them in the arm with a bat, after they signed a waiver saying I could, because they probably won't read it. That way, I could clear up the stupid filth that clogs up the courts and wastes everyone's money in these people's pathetic attempts to get money for nothing. Plus, breaking people's arm with a bat might dissuade them from filing in the first place.

Final thought: Are some people honestly this stupid? I'd hope not, but the evidence is against them. Can I sue them for wasting my time reading their stupid lawsuits?

What's my IQ again?

2005-02-26T13:30:00.000-08:00

Why do people think they have the right to sue over anything? It's tiresome, hearing about useless lawsuits, all it does is clog up the courts, or the companies settle because it's not worth the money to win the lawsuit and countersue. That's right, most the time the corporations would win because no one has a case against them. In reality, it's the customer's fault most the time, because customers are stupid neanderthals who can't read instructions and then try to blame their incomptence on the corporations so they can get money. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that corporations never have done anything to warrant a lawsuit, but a lot of the time it's just SO STUPID.

Need some proof that people waste everyone else's money in the court system by taking moronic lawsuits to court? Here's one for you. This genius of a guy was posting on a message board about the game Gran Turismo 4 on the day it came out. His problem stemmed from EB Games, and the avilability of the game. Here is his post...

i called yesterday and they said they would have it in "for sure" today by noon
i go there at 5 today and its not there
they deliberetely misled and cost me 1 hour of time driving there and not to mention the money to pay for the gas that got me there
i'm contacting my lawyer first thing in the morning, but wanted to ask here first

Note the words I highlighted. Now, honestly, how stupid do you get? Was he honestly thinking that the person at EB Games KNEW he had to drive and hour and KNEW it wouldn't be there at noon? This guy is so stupid it just boggles my mind. First off, there is no way the employee would have known he had to drive an hour. Second, things change, maybe the shipping truck got delayed. In the real world (A place this guy obviously does not live in) shit happens that can delay shipping. I know one store that had their truck break down and didn't get their delivery until the next day. IT HAPPENS. Finally, why the fuck didn't he call and ask to make sure it was being delivered on time? If I had to drive an hour, I'd call and ask, but this idiot decided not to, then blamed EB Games for his OWN FAILURE.

See what I mean? In case you are wondering, he made several more posts claiming they deliberatly misled him, and that he would keep everyone updated on how the court case went. He posted this even after several people, including myself, explained why he had no case. So far he hasn't updated us yet. Probably because lawyers keep laughing him out of their office, but you can always find one who is short on money and will take any case. So goes the court system.

Final Thought: People need to stop wasting OUR tax dollars trying to get money for stupid shit they did to themselves.

A pretend conversation

2005-02-25T10:08:00.000-08:00

Stupid Customer: Excuse me, what did that just ring up for?
Me: Two dollars and 57 cents
SC: There was a sign back there that said it was sixtey cents
Me: Was that sign a little yellow tag?
SC: Yes, it was
Me: That's how much you save, not how much the product is
SC: No, it said that's how much it was
Me: No, that's how much off the original price it is
SC: Look, if it rings up wrong, I get it free
Me: It didn't ring up wrong, you are just a moron
SC: I want to see a manager
Me: He'll say the same thing I did
SC: I want the manager
Manager: That's how much it is off the original price, not the actual price
SC: I should get it free

Final thought: Have customers ever considered actually reading the signs on the shelves and not just assuming?

Crap that pisses me off... Mostly women

2005-02-20T22:56:00.000-08:00

Just so Matt doesn't seem like a complete asshole. This is guest blog of the week brought to you by yours truly.

So my roomates gf asks him if she's fat today and every guy knows this is a lose/ lose situation. Himm being the nice type tells her no he loves her and she looks beautiful to him and she gets mad at him. What is that? seriously what do you want him to say? "you're fat and it's pissing me off you're not the same girl I started going out with 8 months ago" Granted that's something I'd probaby say but that might be one of the top ten reasons I'm not getting laid, next to the fact that I'm Polish.
I also find it increasingly difficult to feel sorry for some rich suburban girl who thinks her life is so tough. "But everyday I'm learning how to make it through this life I'm in" just happens to be a quote taken from someones profile. Yes you're life is rough because you're daddy didn't buy you the brand new car with the fancy cd player in it. Tough fucking luck. And I really feel bad for you cause your bf broke up with you. Maybe he broke up with your whore ass because you're a sutpid little slut who'll suck more than a vacuum if you get some liquor in you. "oh but i was drunk" If you know you turn into a vacuum when you drink. Don't drink! Tough concept. Somehow someone bf breaking up with them doesn't bring a tear to my eye especially when it's one of those chicks who has a new bf 3 weeks later. How do you always manage to have a new bf? It's because you're easy. Sorry it's not cause you have a great personality but in reality We aren't listening to you! And if we are chances are you're gonna break up with us for some asshole who doesn't so you can feel really special by changing him. Another tough concept coming up.... You're not gonna change him and it's not gonna work out.. Sorry, wait no I'm not. And some chicks probably gonna read this and be like "Oh my god this guy is so bitter, no wonder he doesn't get any" Duh! but i'm not going to go around pretending I'm someone else just to get a little ass... or if the girl's in a sorority for 3+ months a big ass because those girls really need to lay off the beer. Ahh yes another thing. Sorority girls are dumb as rocks. Granted I'm the type of guy who gets a crush on one of these rocks but still. Hmm I'm gonna date some frat dude because he's in SHT. And for those of you who aren't sure which greek letters those are it translates to "Super Huge Tool"
Sorority girl 1: What are you doing tonight
Sorority girl 2: Probably going to SHT
Sorority girl 1: Isn't that the frat that gets girls drunk and takes advantage of them
Sorority girl 2: yup, I need something to bitch about in the morning don't I?
Sorority girl 1: Hahahahah, we're so fat

Alright well I think that's all I've got for tonight. Maybe I'll make another guest appearence sometime

Top 10 reasons I am better than Scott

2005-02-16T22:20:00.000-08:00

10. My first and last names don't rhyme
9. I am not an accounting major, I'm a communications major
8. I don't get excited when I see I have a place for pens and pencils and my calculator
7. I'm not quite the laziest man on Earth, Scott is.
6. I don't aspire to be like MacGuyver. Indiana Jones....maybe.
5. I don't dual major in subjects that are math heavy
4. I'm from St.Louis
3. I don't look Mexican
2. I'm more German than he is, and I'm not Polish (I don't think)
1. I like the Cardinals

Final thought: I am better than Scott

Top 10 reasons Scott Ayotte does not get laid

2005-02-16T22:05:00.000-08:00

10. His last name rhymes with his first, bad start
9. He is an accounting major, another blow
8. He was excited that his new laptop case had a place for his pens and a calculator
7. He’s the laziest man on earth
6. He aspires to be MacGuyver and/or Indiana Jones
5. He’s thinking about dual majoring in accounting and economics. Exciting…not
4. He’s from Chicago, and he's in the middle of Missouri
3. He looks Mexican in some pictures
2. He's actually Polish, not Mexican
1. He likes the Cubs

Final thought: Someone will eventually take pity, or get drunk, and he’ll get laid.

No more voicemail

2005-02-16T21:54:00.000-08:00

People leave me useless voicemails all the time. It goes something like this “Hi, it’s (insert name here) just uh, give me a call back” Why do people feel the need to leave me messages like this? I see your missed call, I will call you back. Instead I have to first check my voicemail and waste my time and minutes to get a message that says “Hey, call me back”. Wow, what a waste.

Plus, if I don’t check my voicemail, it won’t alert me to new ones, and sometimes, although rarely, I get voicemail that is actually important. Like from someone I don’t know and they are giving me a number to call them back on that isn’t the one they called with. That’s important. If someone needs to actually tell me something like “We are meeting at 8 at blah” or something, that is important enough to leave a message too. That “Hi, it’s me, call me back” stuff is useless. I don’t want to waste my time checking my voicemail for that. If I see a missed call, I WILL call back. It’s as simple as that. Just call and if I don’t pick up, I call you back.

This is the same reason I don’t leave voicemails usually, because if all I have to say is “Call me back” usually the person does anyway without a voicemail. Why does everyone waste their time telling people to call them back? If you have a question to ask or something, I understand, but I don’t understand asking someone to just call you back.

Final thought: I didn’t check my voicemail for 4 months once because I forgot the code.

Ok, so I'm a cow, but at least I'm not a brain-dead vegetable

2005-02-13T11:36:00.000-08:00

That’s my response to vegetarians coming up trying to push their stupid beliefs on me. “You are what you eat” Alright, so I’m a cow. At least what I eat has some intelligence, unlike vegetables. Therefore, I’m smarter than all vegetarians, because they have the intelligence of squash.

I’m an animal lover myself, but that doesn’t mean I find something wrong in eating them. You know, the animal on my plate is already dead. If I don’t eat it, it goes in the trash. If it goes in the trash, it had a wasted life because it died for nothing. If I eat it, it gives the animal’s life meaning, because it nourished me and kept me alive for longer. Thank you Mr.Animal for letting me live longer. You vegetarians, all you do is waste their lives. You think you might be saving them, but in reality, you are wasting them. The animals are already dead, so if you don’t eat them, they’ll get thrown away. What does being thrown away equal again? That’s right, a wasted life.

I’ve also heard that by not eating meat we will save more animals. Ok, so MAYBE you’ll affect the amount of meat a restaurant normally orders, which would then affect the amount of meat the abattoirs process, which might save a single animal. Most likely, you won’t. Therefore, not eating meat saves no animals, but instead wastes them.

I’m not too sure if vegetarians are aware of this, but humans ARE omnivores. Being omnivorous means we eat veggies AND meat. Whoa, talk about a shocker. Yes, our teeth are designed to be able to grind up meat and our stomachs are able to digest it. Also, I don’t know if vegetarians have ever had a history class, but in case they didn’t, humans have eaten meat for thousands or years, and it was their primary source of food for a long time until they discovered how to farm. Imagine that, eating only animals. I probably just shocked some vegetarians into a vegetative state, assuming they weren’t already in one.

No nonsense about it being healthier for you to eat only vegetables either. I won’t go into the idea that you have to eat no fat to stay healthy right now, because those people are brainwashed. Vegetarians have to change their diets around, make sure they eat carefully to supply themselves with the proper vitamins and proteins that would normally be in meat. So instead they take vitamin supplements (At least the somewhat smarter ones do) because there are some things in meat which your body REQUIRES and you can’t find in vegetables. If your body requires some of these substances in meat, how is healthier for us not to eat meat?

The idea to not eat meat because it is wrong to eat animals is just stupid. Humans have eaten animals for thousands of years. In fact, eating animals for us is part of the balance of nature. We require some vitamins and proteins from their bodies that are not present in vegetables. If you don’t eat meat because you just don’t like the taste, that’s fine. I’m not one to judge how food tastes for you. If you think it’s just wrong, would you prefer for us to go back to hunting animals instead of cultivating them? Or would that still be wrong, because I guarantee you that a bullet to the animals heart or head is a much less painful death than getting stuck with lots of spears and arrows like they did before. Hey, I’ve got another great idea, lets go back in time and teach all the cavemen to be vegetarians so we can erase the existence of humans because they will all die from lack of nutrition when they don’t get the vitamins and proteins they need.

Final thought: My cat is smarter than vegetarians.

I'm a conformist bastard....and you are too

2005-02-12T17:52:00.000-08:00

So I had this girl in my class calling all of us "Conformist Bastards" for supposedly following the crowds and not having a mind of out own. Obviously she must know this because she isn't one, and it is easy to criticize from the outside looking in. She is independent of corporate influence and what is popular means nothing to her. Never mind the Ipod she walked in with, or the Gap jeans on her legs, and that Columbia jacket...whoever heard of Columbia jackets, or even a North Face bookbag?

I mean, honestly, if you want to call people conformist, try not to be using the most mainstream items possible at the same time. And besides that, have any of these people who don't follow the 'mainstream' ever stop to consider they are themselves conforming to a certain ideal and way of life? Could it be that hatred for what is mainstream is in itself a way of thinking shared by many others, causing you to not be an individual at all, but instead put in a group of people who think and act like you do? Oh wait, only conformists do that, and you certainly aren't conformists. Never mind that there are stores geared towards your brand of thinking, created by people who think the same as you do. Never mind that certain phrases are used to describe us 'conformists' that happen to be standard throughout your entire culture's way of thinking. You certainly haven't conformed to this ideology that you have broken the cycle of mainstream.

Let's face it though. Mainstream stuff is mainstream for a reason. It isn't entirely because it is what corporations tell us we like (although that is certainly part of it). Could it be perhaps that people aren't following blindly after one another and instead just happen to have a lot of the same interests? Face it, SOMETHING has to be the most popular. There always has to be something out which a majority of the population finds it likes. That's how products grow, people like it, and buy it. Kind of like that Ipod you had. Wait! Others bought it only because they were conforming to the idea that you need one to be cool, and you bought it as a convenient way to listen to music, right?

Final thought: Stop being such hypocrites and realize that you are conforming to an ideology yourself.